I dunno, where is it coming from that sadness? Shouldn't everything be just perfect? I'd say so, yes. But it's not. The days are sunny but inside me's just clouds and too many hormones. I'm actually starting to be annoyed by myself and me being like that. Like what? Well, lonely, awaiting, bitching, hoping, jealous...all that and probably more.

I'm not used to anthing at the moment..be it the money, the living situation, the fact that I won't have to go home today (or next week etc), the cars driving on the other side, the much bigger city, the longer walks or that someone has changed...and not just physical appearance...

I guess I'll just have to live with all these facts..no other option given.. I could talk but that would just end in something worse than that.

Btw. why am I jealous? Because I can't share the same moment..but I want to. I do know that I can't share everything, that we can't be together 24/7...but some things just feel too important to me..(how can I explain that?)..

Rewind.