Sunday, 5. March 2006

--

Lonelyme

Confession

People scare me. Not scare as in I fear they might hurt me but scare as in: I'm uncomfortable around them...especially large groups and people I don't know.

I knew it before but the following really made it clear.
I went to a bar with my friend Zara who wanted to meet some of her friends there. I stayed for over 4 hours but apart from hello, bye and some smiling I didn't talk to them at all. :( What's wrong with me?.. They've been really nice actually, talking to me "through" Zara..it was really funny, but as soon as Zara went to see her bf or to the bathroom I was stuck, couldn't think of anything to say or couldn't even look at them.

There's another guy who was obviously really drunk. He wanted me to dance with him. I said no cos I don't dance in front of other people (I did on 2 or 3 occasions but I dunno..it was a different scene, music and different people)...He didn't stop asking, even grabbed me by the hips (it didn't hurt but drunken* people are weird)..he was nice..not demanding but still..I felt horrible and nobody said anything. Hello? In the end, when I said bye to go home he said he had no idea in what state he'd leave the bar so he wanted a hug..I gave him one..really quick..he almost fell over when I pulled back..

I'm so not social-able... (I guess I just made that word up..maybe not) At least I'm not alone... V_V

sry.

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